Stuck

Thesaurus Cycle

2005-07-01T13:31:00.000-07:00

I found this theory called"Flip-Flop-Directed-Association" by searching "Flip-Flop Cycle" in Google it reminded me of my theory, except I use something called a "Thesaurus". This enables me to create new ideas with out having to think, I like to call it "The Thesaurus Cycle".

The idea behind my theory is that the author/inventor of the Thesaurus already did the hard part for me, (he did a superb job by the way) and so by not having to think, I am thus able to let my dyslexia take over and to the job for me. (Bear in mind, the "Flip-Flop" gentleman may have a much higher IQ than I.)

IEPadvocate4You

2005-03-17T18:03:00.000-08:00

IEPadvocate4You

Sears MasterCard

2005-01-22T01:22:00.000-08:00

I just re-discovered an interesting fact. When you use a credit card to order on line or over the phone no one cares whose card you are using. However if you decide that you want to pay your bill and it happens to be in your husbands name, forget it! No can do! "You must put him on the phone and we will grill him, forcing him to give his SS number and date of birth and mothers madden name etc... If you don't we wont let you pay!"
What is wrong with this picture? I could charge and charge and charge, and no one would even be curious whether or not I had his permission, but let me try to give them money and watch them freak out! "You have no business, paying your husbands bills for him. How dare you try! Now that you understand this, could I interest you in purchasing a new bedroom set with his Sears MasterCard? Or how about some jewelry, we are having a half price sale?"
This leads me to the quandary, is it ethical for me to impersonate my husband, and pay the bill that he has explicitly placed in my care? A step further, should I go-ahead while impersonating him and add myself to his account so that it never happens again? This feels dishonest, I can't believe that they have actually created a situation that I need to lie in order to pay a bill!

I understand privacy issues, but need I point out that if I'm holding the hardcopy of his bill in my hand I already know what he has been up to? It's a little late to worry about me finding out that he has a Sears MasterCard and that he bought a fishing pole, it's all on the bill!! I believe this is a ploy that the credit card companies are using to create more late fee income. This is their bread and butter you know.

Gin

Opposable thumbs are good...

2004-08-07T18:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I have had an interesting week. Last Thursday Richard had a minor run in with a skill saw, it left quite an impression. Let me elaborate...

He was cutting a sheet of ply-wood and some how it started to slip, instinctively he tried to catch it with his "free" arm (left that is), however his thumb on this "free" arm was already busy holding the safety guard on his saw. Some how (we may never be sure how) the tip of his thumb came into contact with the saw blade, (he still has a thumb by the way). He then wrapped it up in a bandage and went back to the task at hand.

Over an hour later he showed up at home with a bloody bandage over the wound, and proceeded to ask me,

"I cut my thumb with my skill saw, do you think I should go to the emergency room?"

My response, "Well, duh!". He then said "you follow me in the car." I told him to get into the car and took him to the urgent care clinic.

Mean while it was time for me to give Jennifer a ride to her prenatal appointment, so as soon as I got him checked in I took Bradlee and left. It turns out that her MD was just around the corner from where Rich was, so I waited at the urgent care clinic for them both.

About an hour later he came out, they told him that he had just cut the very end of his thumb bone off and they had to clean it all out. There was also some talk of removing part of his thumb nail, however it was decided against. It appears that it went about 1/4-1/2 inch across the top of his thumb nail (thankfully he has wide thumbs) and it did not go through the under side of his thumb except on the edge. He may not have feeling in the top of his thumb, but should underneath.

He then insisted on going back to work that very afternoon, it was about 3:00pm by then. I didn't see him again until about 8:00 that night.

Friday, I spent the day helping him clean up the trailer so that he could take it camping this weekend.

Today, he left to go camping.

What a man!

Ty Pennington from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

2004-08-04T18:54:00.000-07:00

On The View this morning...

"Ty Pennington, design team leader and carpenter from ABC's hit show Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, made a special appearance on today's show to tell about his experience with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). Ty wanted us to know that on August 9th from 8 a.m. to midnight, anyone who suffers from this disorder will have the opportunity to speak to leading ADHD specialists for valuable insight. For more information on the Experts on Call Program, please visit adhdexpertsoncall.com. Furthermore, Ty's new book Ty's Tricks is available in stores now."

Here is a link, http://www.adhdexpertsoncall.com/ (I have never heard of any of their "experts" however.)

Here is their parent company, http://www.shire.com/ (The manufactures of Adderall)

I don't think I have any questions for them, but I'm sort of interested in their take on the issue.

Curves

2004-07-30T10:43:00.000-07:00

My mom got a membership to Curves (exercise place) and she wanted company so she is also paying for my membership. I just love it, the work out is so much fun! It is resistance training, (circuit training) and aerobics.

You stay on each machine for I think 30 seconds?? So because of that fast pace it's never boring. Also, they don't have set class times, so when ever you are ready to move you just show up. This means that it is impossible to be late!! So I can never miss my class!! There is no "You must start on this machine." Rule either, so you can really mix it up and just jump on anyplace that looks fun at that moment. I think that it's the most ADD friendly exercise club ever. (The trick is to get back down there we have missed about 2 weeks now.)

Boobs

2004-07-23T02:24:00.000-07:00

This story leaves me curious, do they get the surgery before they go and risk their lives or after?? I think this question covers several issues, the men being to distracted on the battle field, and the potential waste of a surgery...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5487712/?GT1=4244

Paranoid Links...

2004-05-23T00:46:00.000-07:00

**General spyware info...
http://simplythebest.net/info/spyware/spyware.html

**Free anti-virus software, there were very good ratings for this on various sites...
http://www.grisoft.com/us/us_dwnl_free.php

Best pop-up stopper I have used, this is also a very cool search tool...
(it will highlight the words you are looking for on each page if you want etc.)
If it takes to up much memory and slows you down, you can easily
turn options off to streamline.
http://toolbar.google.com/

Very good spyware FAQ page...http://www.nex-tech.com/virus/spywarefaq.html
Article explaining Windows XP system restore...
http://www.andyrathbone.com/tips/systemrestoretext.html

End all sites for paranoid surfers, tons of info./tools not very reader friendly...
(can test and see if your computer is "stealth" or a sitting duck.)
Very reliable, good recommendations, and best of all, mostly free.
http://www.grc.com/default.htm

This is a blog...

2004-02-02T20:27:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm still delivering the news paper, and there really is no end in sight. I think that my friend Holly was right when she told Jen. That we would never quit because we are required to give a months notice (we have no idea what we will be doing in a month so the odds are against us). I must find a way to prove her wrong!

Now I get to start packing my stuff to move AGAIN... I have mixed feelings about this, on one hand I am ecstatic to be leaving this spider infested house. On the other it means that I have to re-pack and start organizing all of my stuff all over again. (At least this time there will be ample space for my junk in the new house.) Also we are going to on the opposite end of town from the other half of my brain, (Jennifer) I'm feeling a bit uneasy about this.

I have some more links for the underground page that I will try to add today or tomorrow. I think I might install a feed back box, I'm a very curious person and I want to know if anyone thinks I'm nuts.

Power surge?

2004-01-14T23:27:00.000-08:00

I think that I have made a breakthrough, I can finally do more than just survive between trips on "the paper route". I hope that it's either that or my new meds have been in my system long enough that they are making a bigger difference. Otherwise, I'm just having a sudden power surge that will quickly fizzle into nonexistence, and that would bum me out!

I was able to:

-Clean up my house
-Vacuum
-Clean up the bathroom
-Design, and redesign a new page just for me Underground...
-Do the paper route
-Go shopping for fun
-Do crafts with my 4 year old
-Cook dinner
-Attend a 2 hour meeting and get something out of it
-Go grocery shopping
-Put groceries away
-Clean my desk
-Clean up my house again
-Have 2 people that I don't know very well over and not get stressed out
and more that I can't think of right now in only 2 days!

This is very very good! : )

A hidden page...

2004-01-12T20:12:00.000-08:00

I have create a link to a hidden page on staywithmehere.com that has links to my favorite web hangouts and freeware that I think is worth the download and any other links that I might need to find when I'm not at home. I will post it again as I add stuff to it.
www.staywithmehere.com/underground.html

Where is the stuff I want??

2003-12-26T19:59:00.000-08:00

Why don't they already make the things that I want?? Why must I always search and search to find something that even remotely fills my needs? Am I the only one that has this problem?? Are there others out there that share this frustration with me?? (Other than Jennifer of course.)

I have always been under the impression that there were rooms full of people sitting around conference tables somewhere trying to figure out what stuff people will buy. I think that they may even pay people to study what people like me need/want/like. That is their goal isn't it, to get the people to give them money?

It is worse than usual this time, I'm actually making proto-types out of construction paper and tape. However this could be lucrative...

"What happened to Ginger"

2003-11-01T00:07:00.000-08:00

"Many" have wondered, 'what happened to Ginger?'

•Moving
•Overwhelm
•Learning to live without a grandmother/baby sitter across the street
•The loss of my ADHD coach (she had to quit for personal reasons)
•There is more but I can't remember

I should stop wallowing now.

Or not...

Jennifer and I have been wracking our brains trying to come up with a way to make extra money to fund coaching classes (so that we can become ADHD coaches ).
At first all we could come up with was having a garage sale,yah you guessed it I made about $65.00, at this rate I only need to have about 50 more!

Plan B:

Someone suggested that we get a paper route, cool let's go! Could this be famous last words? I thought "This will be easy. Little kids do this in the summer." And then I saw the map... Oh no, what have I gotten myself in to? The first day I just rode along and rolled up papers and assisted the lady that we will be taking over for. I was so overwhelmed by the time that I was done I was afraid to drive myself home.

The next day (today) she had me drive, I think I will get better as the weeks go by but I have a new respect for the paper boy. I had no idea that there would be so much stuff to remember. For instance did you know that about half of the boxes out there are not in use? Also, the advertisements, that I had always assumed were put in by a machine, are actually inserted by the carriers. Then there is the rolling, it is not done by machine either.

What this all adds up to is:

•Not only do I have to learn a complex rout.
•I now also get to drive (on the wrong side)
•Stuff inserts
•Roll papers
•Remember what boxes are active all at the same time!!

Learning what is reasonable...

2003-04-21T09:35:00.000-07:00

I think that a vital piece of becoming unstuck is learning what is reasonable. What I mean is that, as persons with AD/HD, there are limits to what we should expect to accomplish in a day.

I am always struggling with the never ending DAILY to do list. In the evening I move the 4 to 10 unfinished items from today’s list to tomorrow and then I try to remember all of the other things that need to be done, I go to bed anxious that I omitted something vital from my list. I get up the next morning and if all goes well I look at my list again and I typically think of 3 or 4 more things I forgot. Sometimes by the end of the day I have added even more items than I have checked off.

Not knowing what to do first, unable to assign a logical value to any of the items. I then become stuck, paralyzed, boggled, because what was going to be my handy dandy to do list has now grown to a size that a "normal" person would have trouble finishing in a day. I still feel guilty for not “checking off” all of the things on my list.

Just the sheer volume of items listed is enough to boggle me, but I do the same thing the next day and the next...

So, I have been trying to figure out why I do this. I have come up with this hypothesis; I think that I write everything on my list because I’m afraid that I will forget something. I am trying to approach this quandary as an outsider because some-times being to close, the solution is hard to see. There must be some way to write my stuff down so that I wont forget and still not boggle myself.

My brilliant plan:

Learn what is reasonable, by experimentation, try different lists out for size until I figure out what a manageable size for myself is.
Have an alternate sheet for stuff that I remember needs to be done but can wait until another day.
Learn what questions to ask my self, so that I can start to prioritize my tasks. (I will try to come up with a list for another blog.)
Learn to be happy with my new down sized list, and celebrate my accomplishments not berating myself for not being able to handle the same load as Mrs. X.
Develop the habit of checking my alternate list everyday to see if there is anything that I need to pay attention to ASAP.

Oops I Goofed...

2003-04-09T11:31:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of being depressed and I'm tired of being down on myself. When something goes wrong I want to be able to say "oops, look at that I goofed, life goes on".

However when other people get on my case, I can't just blow it off like that. It generally means that I have screwed up something that effects more than just me. It really messes me up, because I must address the other person about it. I just want them to say "oops, look at that you goofed, life goes on", but other people don't say that. I find my self trying to get them to say it, and it doesn't work that way.

I just need to learn that you can't convince people to say "oops, look at that you goofed, life goes on", and I need to try not to take things so personally. If I could master that maybe I wouldn't get so "messed up" in my head when people point out my mistakes.

What if I were terminal?

2003-04-07T08:30:00.000-07:00

OK,OK, don't get excited... I plan to live forever, but what if I were
terminal? Would I be chastised for my flaws, if the doctor had
sad, "I'm sorry she has an inoperable brain tumor, she has 4
years to live." Would people still ask me, "Why don't
you just try harder?", and that is not to say that every one
actually says that, but you can usually tell when people are
thinking it. "If you were just paying attention you wouldn't
have forgotten..." If people thought that I was "sick"
would it be easier for them to make allowances for my limitations?

I think about that allot, probably too much, but I still wonder,
"What if I were terminal?". Other times I join right in
and ask the same questions of my self, but then I just get sad,
because the harder I try the less I can accomplish. It is a cruel
fact of AD/HD that when you strain hard to squeeze more from your
brain, you actually start shutting down the very parts that you
try to access. So I try to think about that when I get down on
myself, and then I wonder...

I wonder...

2003-04-04T09:44:00.000-08:00

Would it be easier to work on a mess if you first put all of your "relationships" in bags or boxes? Then you have a stress free environment to work in. You could focus on one box/bag at a time. I think this might squelch the overwhelm...

For most I would not recommend doing this with out a body double present. (Some one in the room to monitor progress and make sure that you don't leave it half done. ie. a room full of bags and stopping.)

A few things...

2003-04-03T08:59:00.000-08:00

A few things to do when you are STUCK (boggled)...

Make sure you start your day with a shower and get your self around, because if you don't your day will just spiral in to something ugly!
Try setting a timer for an hour and every time it goes off DO SOMETHING, even if it is simple like emptying a trash can. Then if you at least do something every hour you have done at least 8 or 9 things.
Put on a walkman and listen to music or the news or something, this will distract you from the confusion enough that you might be able to get through the boggle (I also have a head set on my phone and 2 different people that I can call and just "talk" to about nothing and this will sometimes inspire me to be productive, the same as the walkman.)
Figure out where in the stream of time you are, orient your self by looking at a calender of up coming events. This may be enough to get the adrenalin flowing and make you move!
Load the dishwasher (or unload as the case may be), start some laundry, just do some thing that is more of a body task than a brain task.
Even going on a walk is better than doing nothing, and it just may be the stimulation that your brain needs.
DO NOT... turn on the TV, surf the net, "check your email", or start any kind of computer game when you are in this state, you may never get away!! (I'm speaking entirely from personal experience here!!)

A fine example...

2003-04-02T17:44:00.000-08:00

I was stuck, I couldn't remember the name of my own blogger page!! It took me 3 try's to finally get here!!

Question...

2003-04-02T15:38:00.000-08:00

How do you get unstuck, I think this will be the subject that I will first try to ponder. I may never figure out a definitive answer for this, however I will try.